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What
do I tell my child/teen about seeing
a psychologist? |
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Children and teens usually have
an idea that there are difficulties
so it is typically not a surprise
when the parents tell them they have
an appointment with a psychologist.
For young children we suggest that
parents tell them they are going to
see a “talking doctor”.
Assure the child that the talking
doctor only talks and plays with children
and does not give shots, since this
is usually a child’s biggest
fear. Explain that the talking doctor
is going to help your family figure
out how to solve the problem, situation,
or behavior. For older children and
teens you can tell them you are going
to talk with a psychologist about
the problems or situation.
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What if my child/teen
does not want to see a psychologist? |
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This is not surprising. For most children/teens
this is a new, unknown experience and
they are anxious. However, once they
have met with one of our psychologists
they are usually glad they did. Our
psychologist have years of experience
with children/teens and know how to
help them feel comfortable and open
up.
We suggest telling your child/teen
something like this “You know
how we have been arguing a lot over
getting your homework done and we
have been unable to figure out a way
to get it done without us fighting.
I found a person that is good at helping
families figure out how to get homework
done without all the fighting. Other
families have seen this psychologist
and have been glad they did because
they don’t argue any more about
the homework. I think this will be
real nice for all of us if we can
meet with someone who can help us
with this situation.” This approach
involves the family rather than just
the child and will help the child
feel more comfortable.
It is very important that for parents
who have a child who says they refuse
to go, that the parents remind themselves
that they are in charge, not the child.
Some parents make the mistake of letting
their child/teen make important decisions
that have lasting negative effects.
You would not let your child refuse
to go to the dentist because you know
this will have long lasting effects
on his/her teeth. No parent should
let a child decide what he will or
won’t do with respect to his
psychological health.
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Will my child be
stigmatized? |
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Many parents worry about their
child being “labeled”
and “stigmatized.” In
our current society seeking psychological
help is viewed as a positive step
in raising a child. The negative views
our culture once had of psychological
treatment are gone and parents need
to put those worries aside. The most
important issue is to find out what
is causing the child/teen’s
problems and focus on how to fix them.
“Labeling” is usually
only an issue in schools. While teachers
and schools usually benefit from knowing
about their students psychological
functioning, your child’s privacy
is guaranteed by law and no one is
allowed to know anything about your
child’s psychological care without
your permission.
Diagnosis is often called “labeling.”
Diagnosis can help with treatment
plans, IEP, and obtaining special
education services and is often a
requirement of agencies that are offering
your child/teen services. Our psychologists
do not tell a child their diagnosis
so parents can rest assured that the
child won’t feel labeled by
coming to our center. The pros and
cons of diagnosing and “labeling”
a child can be discussed when you
meet with one of our psychologists.
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Will my child feel
like something is wrong with him/her
if he/she sees a psychologist? |
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Teens are more prone to feel negatively
about seeing a psychologist, thinking
there is something “wrong”
with them. It is important when you
tell your teen that you have made an
appointment for them to see a psychologist
that it is to work on the specific situations
they are having difficulty with, and
there is nothing “wrong”
with them. It can also help to let the
teen know that you want them to have
someone outside the family that they
can talk to confidentially about whatever
they want. Some teens still will be
resistant; however as a parent you need
to do what you know is right for your
teen, even if your teen disagrees with
you. Most teens find it a relief to
have the privacy and confidentiality
to talk to someone who will listen to
them without judging them.
Younger children are less likely to
have the perception that there is something
“wrong” with them. Children
who do have this thought can be reassured
that there is nothing “wrong”
but that you need some help solving
certain situations.
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What if my child
has already been evaluated by another
psychologist or professional? |
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We have many children come to our
center referred by other professionals
for our specialized services. We are
happy to work with the other specialists
for the benefit of your child. Our Initial
Evaluation is still important for us
so that we can learn about your child
and understand what your concerns are
before we can develop a treatment plan.
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